Weekend Madness

How does time go by so fast?! Here I was a week ago, all bitten with the blog bug, and a week has gone by! It might have something to do with the fact that I'm shadowing Braden at school (that will be a post some day, not ready to share that drama yet), working on my real job for NCVPS, and, oh, all the mundane things you have to do on a regular basis, like cook dinner, do laundry, etc. Oh well, here I am, that's the important thing, right?

First things first - I have narrowed down a new title for the blog. Here are the hard to choose from ideas:

• For the Love of Sprinkles (my only creative idea)
• When Life Hands You Sprinkles (courtesy of my creative friend, Colleen!)
• Sprinklelicious (courtesy of my creative friend, Colleen!)
• Just Add Sprinkles (courtesy of my creative friend, Colleen! See a pattern?)

What do you think? Make sure to place your vote in the comments. I can't be held responsible if I don't choose the one you like the most unless you vote.

Now, on to today's topic - what the heck do you do with your kids on the weekends, especially in the winter and when you don't want to blow your money on some ridiculously priced activity that your kid may or may not enjoy? I feel like the last few weekends we have been zombies, moping around the house, glued to the TV or some video game. This weekend I am determined to break out of this rut!

I've been pinning pins on Pintrest (say that 3 times fast!) like a mad woman, searching for fun and cheap kid activities. Because, I don't know about you, but my brain is fried by the end of the week. You can't expect me to have any real thought process on a Saturday morning. BUT, I'm ahead of the game this week! I've planned some activities for this weekend and pinned them onto my Fun Kid Activities Board on Pintrest (you can follow me if you'd like, hint, hint.) I thought it might be fun to write about this weekly, what my activities are for the upcoming weekend and highlight how the activities from the weekend before went. Obviously, since I am just starting this, I can't delight you with my embarrassing attempts to have fun, yet. But, this time next week, I should be ready to have you rolling on the floor with pictures and anecdotes of our attempts. (Hopefully it won't be all that bad, but what would make you come back next week, perfect projects or terrifying attempts? I like to watch train wrecks sometimes, so why not watch mine?)

Here are my messy and hopefully fun activities that I have planned for this weekend. Looks like I have accidentally planned a scientific exploration day and an outdoor adventure day.
(I've included the link to make sure I give proper credit for the wonderful ideas)

March 1-3 Weekend Activities

• St. Patrick Day Window Clings
• Science experiment: Elephant Toothpaste
• Hopefully I can find some 6% Hydrogen Peroxide like she suggests....
• Rainbow Density Cylinder
• Nature Scavenger Hunt 
• Shoot some hoops at the basketball court. Braden has been showing some interest in playing Bball lately. I'm sure Braden's daddy can have a blast giving him a point or two.
• Play date - while Braden was attending Brain Balance he made a friend, someone who looks to Braden as a role model. Braden actually pulled this little boy out of his shell a bit, would continually say hi or bye or call his name. At first, the little boy would not respond. But Braden was persistent and eventually the little boy responded. Braden shouts "Finally, he told me bye!" Braden naturally was persistent and supportive to the little boy, encouraging him daily for the last few weeks we were there. The little boy's mom told me that her son finally was excited to come to the center, and she thought it was because of Braden. Hoping to keep that little spark in our new friend, so hopefully we will be able to plan a play date.

Guess that's it for now. Make sure to check in next week for the results of our fabulous weekend! In the meantime, add a comment or two and share what your plans are for the weekend. And don't forget to vote for your favorite title!

Sprinkle-fully yours,
Heather

Bug Bites

 I have been bitten, bitten by a writing/blogging bug. I'm not sure where this came from. It may have been inspired by my friend Colleen, who is writing a YA trilogy and Tweets/Facebooks/Pintrests all these really cool updates! She is an up and coming author, so make sure to check her out at on her blog http://cmalbert.blogspot.com/. It could also be inspired by all of the totally awesome blogs I have been visiting, courtesy of Pintrest. I am fascinated by these (most of them have been women but I don't want to discredit any men) women who have coordinated informative blogs on everything from gluten free casein free recipes to organization to crafts! (And let me just add that I have also been bitten by the crochet bug, but that can be another topic another day!) It could also be that I have family and friends' voices echoing in my head: "You should write a book, share what you know and what you have done." Now, the thought of a book scares the bejesus out of me! I will never say never but I certainly have not been bitten by the book bug. Now, are you asking yourself, at this very moment, what in the world could Heather contribute and what could she ever write enough about in a book?

If you take a look at earlier posts (um, yes, that would be way earlier. Oops, I fell off the blog wagon a while ago.) you will read about my beginning journey with Braden who had autism. Had you ask? Well, last year we had Braden reevaluated. It was a three year mark and I wanted to see, touch, analyze how far we had come with him. I knew that he had made progress. I knew that he could keep up with his peers, I knew that academically this kid was right on, I knew that he could make friendships and healthy ones at that. But sometimes you just need to see it on paper. And, a little voice was ringing in my head from our initial evaluation: "some children who have been diagnosed early grow out of the diagnosis over time." At the time I thought, ya right, don't give me false hope. But, with Braden, as his language grew and I saw him interact with friends, I began to hope just a little. After a month of testing, with multiple days of testing and observations of him at his school, the psychologist came back with hope. She said that he had traits of autism (lack of eye contact, trouble with transitions) but that he no longer actually fit the diagnosis, he no longer ticked all the criteria for autism. I love how she described it. She said that he is sprinkled with autism and she felt that an anxiety disorder would probably better fit him at this point. Now, did we jump up and start dancing on the ceiling? No, we were skeptical. We talked to her about all the implications of this and how this would affect Braden. We talked about the services he was currently getting and if they would be impacted. But everywhere we looked, we could not see how this would hurt him. All of the therapies he is receiving were private and paid for by us. He is attending a private school where IEPs are not governed by IDEA. (Let me just say that his school, although not governed by IDEA, has been wonderful and has worked with us to make Braden successful.) So maybe this is the beginning of where those voices started: share what you know, share what you did and even if it just helps one person, it will be one person who has been touched.

Has everything been peachy keen and roses and smiles since this reevaluation? No. We still have our issues and we still fight for Braden everyday. We even had a huge set back this fall that we are still fighting to overcome. Because, remember, he is sprinkled with autism. There are still issues there that "normal" (whatever normal is) kids don't have to contend with.

And for me, sprinkled with autism has been coined a term of affection for me. These sprinkles are sprinkles of special love, sprinkles that have made this family a better family, sprinkles that have made me a better mom and sprinkles that have made me try to be a better person. All of these sprinkles leads me to an idea for another post... I am playing around with the title of my blog and have been tinkering with this word, sprinkles. What do you think? Do you think I should incorporate "sprinkles" into a new title for my blog, to mark this blog bug bite? AND, for all those creative thinkers out there, any ideas for a new title? Sprinkles, special, love, family...I would love to hear any ideas you have! I promise to give credit! Share your ideas with me in the comments below.

Until next time, I hope your day is sprinkled with whatever you need: love, hope, or maid services ;)

The Hardest Job

Came across this unfinished post. I think I had some good thoughts here...but alas, it was never finished. I thought it important to add because at the time it was something I needed to write about.


Being a mom is the hardest job ever! Throw in a mom with a special needs child and it becomes 100% harder. Today was Braden's first official back to school day and it has not been a good day. Yes, he did go to preschool Monday and Tuesday, but it wasn't officially school...because he gets CBRS he was able to attend and have class with the CBRS workers. So today he went to his new class and his new teacher and did not set a good first impression. But let me back up...

1. He is used to going to school an hour early and receiving CBRS for an hour and then transitioning to class. Today was different, he only receives CBRS for 2 days. So...he walked right into class this morning and he does not deal well with new transitions.


2. His new teacher is the teacher who watched him Monday, the one that he had already set an impression with when he shoved another child into a cupboard and left a mark and also threw a chair. (CBRS days are already tough for him, different environment, not structured, a wide range of school age children in the same room with him).


3. This morning, before school, did not reflect a cozy, aaahhh, it's your first day back kind of morning. We struggled with Braden to eat, Bob yelled at Braden while trying to support me which caused Braden to start to cry and joke on his donut, and me reprimanding Bob about upsetting Braden.

Today is not about Braden, today is all about Linda Markell Barley.

Three years ago today, I had to do the hardest thing, ever, in my life...lay my mom to rest, 2 days before mother's day. In thinking of her, I wanted to share the memorial I gave at her funeral:

Over the last few days, I've been trying to think of things I could say about my mom or stories that I could share. What were my favorite memories and how could I put them into words? I was forcing myself to think of something and was encountering a mental block. Then I woke up Sunday morning, Mother's Day, and realized that I had a lot to share about my mom, in the way I knew her best, as my mother.

As a new mother myself, I've looked to my mom as my role model. I've asked myself many times, what made her so successful? Stories and memories flooded my brain. As I put words to paper, I found myself choosing nicknames to describe my mom  and the stories involved with each memory. Now, mom had a knack for picking names, which I'll talk a little more about in a minute, and so I guess I've inherited this trait. I just hope she won't be too mad about some of them...

The first memory Tara and I usually end up laughing about centers around mom's role as "The Intimidator." What? Intimidator? Mom was the disciplinarian and dad whole heartedly will give her credit in that department. And to be very honest, as I stand here, I am still a little intimidated calling her the Intimidator. She had a full arsenal of weapons at her disposal and depending on how many she used at one time described the degree of trouble you were in.
The first weapon was the Linda Stomp. You knew you had pushed it too far if you felt the floors shake and heard the thunderous roll of her feet. Tara and I have learned to perfect the Linda Stomp, having seen and heard it many times. We now use it in our own households and tease each other, 'Was that the Linda Stomp I just heard?'
Her next weapon...the wooden spoon. If this was used in combination with the Linda Stomp, oh boy, you were going to get it! It would usually begin with the stomp to the "junk" drawer. Somewhere in the drawer was the wooden spoon and mom would stir and lift and make all kinds of noise before she found it, buying you a few minutes to either begin crying and/or pleading or make a mad dash to try to hide. Funny, hiding never really worked out well for me.
And finally, there was the finger and the look. Even dad has had his fair share of being the target of these two weapons - can we say RV? Even the animals knew. There is no way I could ever do these two weapons justice. Mom just had a way of pointing her finger at you and looking at you that made you start to quiver and fall into line, hence..."The Intimidator."

The finger weapon actually had two purposes and this leads me into another favorite memory and my next nickname, "The Great Tickler." Mom loved to tickle, it didn't matter your age or how you were related to her. As a matter of fact, I just found out last night this even included some of the nurses at the clinic!
You took your legs and ribs at your own risk if you sat too close to her. She had a way with her fingers that seemed to find your weak spot and she took great joy in being able to tickle. One of our favorite pictures of her is with Tyler and Brynn on the front porch swing. Tyler and Brynn are trying desperately between giggles to pry mom's fingers off while mom's face is filled with glee at her successful tickle attack.

In the last three days, the three ring circus has landed in the Barley farmhouse in the form of three dogs. This made me think of another favorite memory and my next nickname..."Dr. Doolittle." Mom just wasn't a mother to Tara and me but she was one to all of the animals as well. All of the many animals we had through the years loved mom and fell at her feet, literally. The cats and dogs seemed to gravitate to her feet and there was many a time she would trip over them in her attempt to either get up from the couch or make dinner.
In the many years there has only ever been one exception to this and it came in the form of Buttons the goat. Buttons appeared one day in the back of dad's little pickup truck as a gag happy 40th birthday gift. Buttons didn't stay forever and there is some controversy over Mom and Buttons, with talk of a butting, mom getting wrapped around the goat's chain, and a possible broken bone. Buttons is just lucky he went to live at another farm and not somewhere else...
So, with that being the only exception, this devotion was maybe due in part to her uncanny ability to name them. Magic, Tara's horse, named so because like Magic he just appeared. I think that was one of the other times Dad got the look and finger. Tilly (short for Chantilly) and Lacey (Lace), our first cats, named so because they were sisters and somehow Chantilly Lace popped into her head.
Yes, they loved their Dr. Doolittle and she them. They would always remember her at Christmas. There was always a present from the animals under the tree...Love Magic, Charlie, Dusty, Tilly, Lacey, Misty, Bailey, Jasmine, and for a short time, Buttons.

I could go on with nicknames, "Master Bargain Shopper," "Queen of Cross Stitch," "Mrs Sports Fanatic," but the best memory I have of Mom is given the nickname "The Prize Fighter." She always encouraged us to be positive and she herself lived by this. Never once did she let life get her down, not when diagnosed with diabetes, not when facing kidney failure and dialysis, not when she had to learn how to walk again with a prosthesis, and especially, not at the end.

As I think about all of the stories and nicknames I lovingly refer to, it hit me that all of the names have something in common. They all sound like superhero names, the Intimidator, The Great Tickler, Dr. Doolittle, The Prize Fighter.  And I find it very fitting, because to us, she is our hero, the strongest woman I know. She is our hero and Tara and I were blessed to be able to call her mom.

Horse Therapy - Hearts and Hooves

Our first day back

Mounted and ready to ride

Done riding and helping Ms Bevy put the gator away.

4 wheeler with Braden's new friend - Sasha

This was back in the day - Braden was around 3 in this picture.

This was one of our very first trips out - look how young Braden looks!

Brushing horses can be very therapeutic. Braden was around 3 in this picture.

History repeats itself and I so firmly believe! It seems that after every Christmas break, Braden has what I call a "honeymoon" period back in school that lasts about a week. But...remember that nursery rhyme that goes "There once was a girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, she was very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid!" Well, superimpose she for he! The first week back from Christmas break was great, but then we crashed the second week. I ended up shadowing Braden for one whole week and then reducing the next week by an hour each day. We racked our brains trying to figure out what the issue was. While we can pin it down to medicine now (which since has been successfully adjusted) we also think it has to do with seasonal changes. Winter seems to be very hard for Braden and this realization sent me running to find some sensory activities for him. Enter weekly swimming lessons and a return to horse therapy.

I am very lucky that I worked with a wonderful EC teacher, Beverly Phillips, at Tryon who has background in horse therapy and a program called Hearts and Hooves. I know that at least every Tuesday, Bev loads up her horses and travels to a school and works with special needs students through therapy. While she does not travel to our school, we do travel to her farm every Thursday now for Braden to ride and try to meet some of those sensory needs. This is actually a return for us. Braden had been to Bev's farm before, when he was around 3. He rode horses, but also got to run around and ride the Gator and the 4- wheeler. He loved it there, which I find kind of funny since he is not an animal person (see previous posts about trips to zoos!)

Well, we're back! Can I just say that I love Bev! She's fun, energetic, patient, loving, but does not take "crap" from bossy little 5 year olds :) She is wonderful with Braden. She makes him listen, interact, helps him to build core muscles, and helps him learn! And that is what is so great about our return - he is learning. He's now at an age where he can learn about taking care of horses, how to brush them, how to tack them, and how to steer them! He is so excited to learn how to steer them, like he's driving a car. This was a new step for us last week. We worked in the ring, moving flags from cone to cone, which Braden loved. But then...Bev told him it was time to learn how to steer the horse. The excitement on his face was so evident! He could not stop smiling!
He has also made a new friend at the farm. Her name is Sasha and she is a very young Golden Retriever. She loves Braden! Normally, Braden is not a dog lover. He loves our dogs, but our dogs know and understand Braden. They know there is no licking (keep those tongues to yourselves dogs!) and no jumping. He loves to chase them and loves it when they chase him, but keep your paws off! Sasha has learned all of this quickly. She knows that he loves to chase or be chased and if she brings him a stick, he will throw it for her. She runs to greet us when we pull in and she loves to keep Braden occupied until it's time to tack up and head out.

Thursdays have become a pleasure for us. Sensory needs are met, Braden can run off all of his energy and I can chat and catch up with another adult and wonderful friend! Thanks Bev - you are a gift to us!

Sugar Jitters!

Is it possible to go through sugar withdrawal? I'll let you know. I decided that for Lent, I was going to try to restrict my sugar intake just like I have with Braden. It's not that sugar is necessarily bad, but we consume way too much. What makes it even more difficult is that there is no dietary guideline which tells you how much sugar you should be eating. I initially started this research about a year ago, after we were having some aggressive behaviors with Braden. Sugar has been shown, and I think we all know, to cause hyperactivity in some kids. And since Braden has been known to be addictive to certain types of food, we knew we had to try to reduce his sugar intake.

Diet for Braden has always been important to us. It was the one thing that we could do to try to help Braden when we first received his diagnosis. At that time, we didn't know where to start, when we would get in to see doctors, or even what to do. This was about the time that Jenny McCarthy's book came out about her son and all the therapies/strategies she had tried, with success. The big idea that hit home with us was diet. Braden LOVED dairy. He was addicted to it. If I would meet the mommy's out for lunch, I had to pack his yogurt and cheese stick or there would be a melt down at lunch time. We started with eliminating dairy, or really casein. We took out any food item that contained it. I chuckle to myself as I sit here now and type this oh so matter-of-factly! But at the time, I was scared! I had no idea what Braden would eat and what we would eat! Cheese is in all of our favorite meals! But we learned to read food labels and avoid all dairy items and learned about all the wonderful products out there that he can eat. Rice milk became a staple in our house. And just recently we have switched over to coconut milk, with a plethora of products out there, including coconut yogurt! Anyway, once we took the dairy away, yes, we had behaviors. The best way to describe it, as I once read, is that the casein is not digested correctly by some children and that it enters their blood stream and has an opiate effect on them. But once the withdrawal symptoms subsided, we saw major improvements for Braden. He did begin to talk more and more importantly, the cyclic behaviors that used to consume his day stopped! (One distinct memory that I will never forget happened when I was at class. I came home and Bob told me that he and Braden had walked in a circle for 40 minutes. Braden pushed a toy shopping cart while Bob had to walk behind - Braden insisted - for 40 minutes! No talking, no singing, no stopping!) Yes, there is true power to a healthy diet. Gluten followed the casein and although I have always felt that there was not a huge impact from gluten, it seems that whenever we play with gluten and try to add it back in, we have a hyper kid!

But, let's get back to the sugar. If I thought milk/casein was in everything, boy - was I in for a rude awakening with sugar! IT'S IN EVERYTHING! This was by far the hardest thing to try to eliminate. Braden's breakfast foods were loaded with sugar! His favorite snacks were loaded with sugar! So while trying to do some research for this, I read somewhere that, although there are no guidelines, 25 g of sugar a day is more than plenty. HUH? Did I read that right? So, back to the drawing board we went. And today, I can say, that we do a pretty good job. Breakfast now focuses more on protein. Lunch is typically a sandwich (usually PB and jelly, I have found low sugar types) with a pretty normal, healthy dinner. We do allow one "dessert" a day. Braden's favorite dessert is a chocolate coconut milk fudge bar. The sugar grams aren't too bad, I want to say 8g for one bar and it's pretty yummy! I don't worry too much about naturally occurring sugars in fruit. Otherwise, I would go crazy!

But, what does this all have to do with me? Well, last year for Lent, I gave up casein and gluten. I wanted to experience what I put Braden through. And the verdict? It's not too bad! I do have to say that with the rise in celiac's disease and gluten sensitivities, new products are hitting the market and it makes shopping, oh, so much easier! Daiya has come out with this fantastic "diary" shredded cheese, and it's actually pretty good! So this year's goal is to experience his sugar withdrawal :) This will just make a better me and will force me to look at what I eat. I don't think I honestly do too bad on a day to day basis, but when those before bed snack munchies hit me, what do I reach for? Sugar! Peanut M&M's, ice creams, cookies! I am also trying to watch my intake of aspartame and sucralose, aka splenda, as those "things" are just so bad for me, you, all of us! I have already, gasp!, given up diet sodas! And my coffee or tea has become sugar free, no sugar, no splenda, no nothing. It took a few days, but now it's not so bad. I'm also focusing more on the bento box approach. Actually, I think I am becoming obsessed with it. I ordered Braden a box for his lunch and my lunches, with some mix and match bowls, look more like it too. I think that this is such a healthy approach to food, a little of this and a little of that! My lunch today consisted of pepperoni slices (14 to be exact), 2 slices of mozzarella, raw broccoli dipped in dairy free organic ranch dressing, a nectarine, and 1/2 a container of coconut milk vanilla yogurt. It was pretty yummy! I'm sure I'll blog about my new obsession later, but now back to my sugar story....

So, for the next 40 days, and maybe longer (if I make it) I will be a reduced sugar junkie! Just watch out for the next few days. If you live near me and see my hands shaking or see a crazy woman running through the grocery store madly grabbing candy, it's just Heather going through sugar withdrawal! :)

Inspiration

Almost two years since I have read/logged in/ posted to this blog. I must say that my cousin, Becky Fohner, inspired me to get back to this. She started it with the 31 days of Kayleigh in December and has since continued. What fun to be able to look back, or better yet, to have Kayleigh look back as an adult and have this type of record. One of the things I wish I would have/could have done with my mom. As I get older, my memories seem to slip away much faster. I want Braden to have a piece of his history. Another prompt was to have a record, to see if there repetitions, consistencies of Braden's. We recently hit another hurdle and wonder if it is a seasonal issue. Thank goodness for Facebook which at least showed some record of a possible link.
What a long way we have come! I am so proud of my little boy! Yes, there are days that I still feel as if I'm hitting my head against the wall. But those are fewer and farther between. Braden is now in TK (transitional kindergarten) at a local private Christian school. It is a "regular" school with 14 other bodies in the classroom. Would I have thought we would have been here 2 years ago, probably not. But we have fought hard for Braden, pushed him, tried to find as many things to help him. Now, that doesn't mean we don't have issues, we do, but since I work from home for NCVPS (North Carolina Virtual Public School) it makes it possible for me to go to school and calm or shadow if need be. Right after Christmas we have had some issues, with me shadowing for 2 weeks, prompting my look into the past for identical issues, linking seasonal with behavioral. But overall he has exceeded our expectations!
He has been to a neurologist. No major medical issues, thank goodness! He has been able to help us with medicine for compliance and anxiety. We are working on a psychiatrist next, so that Braden has someone to talk to and have someone else help him with coping/calming techniques. I have also started some swimming lessons, had him join an art club at school and will be starting back to horse therapy today. This is to hopefully help with some of those seasonal issues.
I know this is a quick wrap up of a long and eventful 2 years, but let me end as I always do, I hope to be better about posting on here, as I know the importance of family history.